Resolutions

The New Year enters our lives full of hope and promise, most of the time. No matter how bad or indifferent the previous year was, the trend is to resolve to be better, to make the New Year better than the last, whether it’s by losing weight, finally getting rid of the mounds of junk we haven’t used in years, becoming nicer people or finally taking a chance on some dream.

January first dawns – hopefully not in the throes of a hang-over – and we’re ready to get the ball rolling. But wait! The dieter who stopped drinking wine and eating cheese, pepperoni and crackers as the clock struck twelve is wondering if today really counts. It is a holiday, after all. And if it isn’t Monday – well, everyone knows diets are best started on a Monday, when that Monday is the first of the month (First of the year, first year of a new decade, beginning of a new millennium… you see how it works). Now, the beginning of the year is ideal except for the first being a holiday.

So, Monday will work. This year, it’s a Monday. And well, since the diet didn’t actually start on the first, January will pretty much be a trial run for February. I suspect that rather than a shopping incentive for cruise-goers, bathing suits in winter are actually an incentive to those resolution dieters to keep what’s important in mind: looking good for bikini weather.

The pack rats couldn’t possibly get started on January 1. After all, the Christmas decorations are still up. That is, of course, unless said pack rat is one of those people who strips the Christmas tree at the crack of dawn on New Year’s Day (the sort who puts it up in time for Thanksgiving), and has the carcass on the curb before the neighbors have had their diet breakfasts. But I suspect the New Year’s Day tree-stripper is not a pack rat. No, the pack rat will have to wait until the decorations come down.

Becoming a nicer person is an easier prospect unless you’ve been awakened after three house of sleep by a pet who wants breakfast, and you stub your toe on the way back to bed. Actually, since it is a holiday, you probably won’t have too many chances to show your new niceness, so nothing really counts until you return to work. (And if you’re retired, you no longer need to be nice. Just open your front door occasionally and yell at the local kids, “Get off my lawn!”)

Following your dreams may take longer, since dream granters tend to be closed for the holidays. You’ll have to revisit that when business returns to normal.

           

All in all, the beginning of the year is a terrible time to start resolutions. Perhaps waiting until the end of the fiscal year is better – provided you’re not vacationing July first. As for New Year’s resolutions, I’d give them about a week.