Top Eight Hates

 

  

        Lists are often a big deal. Magazines have them frequently. People have “bucket” lists. There seems to be a “Top 10” for nearly everything.

        While I don’t like the “bucket” list, since once you’re finished, you’re expected to die, and I plan to live a good long time, I do have a somewhat unusual list.

        Mine is the “hate” list.

        I know, I know, your mother always told you that you shouldn’t hate. I don’t hate people. But I do hate certain habits I’ve seen in others. So, no, this is not the “I hate peppers and Brussels sprouts” list. It’s the things people do that aggravate me.

1.       I can’t stand when people attempt to finish my sentences for me.

Anyone who’s ever met me (unless it was at a party where I didn’t know anyone) knows I’m quite capable of speaking. But there are certain people who have this annoying habit – and it’s not only me they do it to – of thinking they know the last word I’ll say, and trying to say it before I do.

Besides being annoying, it’s rude. They’re interrupting.

I give them one chance. The second time they try to do it, I change the word I was going to say. It’s my way of smacking them in the face.

It does confuse them, and usually, after doing this three or four times (if they’re not the sharpest crayons) they stop doing it, at least for a few days.

2.     Talking over me.

I realize that, as someone with ADD, I have a tendency to go off on tangents when I’m telling a story or explaining something. I’m aware I’m doing it, but it’s a matter of saying the, “Oh, by the way” thing before I forget. I will eventually loop back around and finish the first thing I was telling them.

However, people often jump in and either change the subject entirely, or try to explain what I was explaining.

It’s rude. I think in future, I will just turn around and walk away, since they’re negating me as a person anyway.

3.     Using children as interruptions.

I’ve had friends say they haven’t seen me in ages and want to talk. They will even go so far as to ask a question. But the minute I start to answer, their child bursts in demanding attention.

Instead of saying, “Excuse me a minute,” and telling their child they are having an adult conversation, and it’s rude to interrupt, as my mother would have done, (in 9 out of 10 instances, the child has no emergency that requires interrupting), they go off with the child to take care of whatever the child wants.

Usually, said person never ends up having a conversation with me, since they’ve already reinforced for the child that rudeness is fine, and the child will do it repeatedly, or the person just gets busy with other people.

I would far rather people stop pretending they have any interest having a conversation than playing this cat-and-mouse game.

 

4.     The “Excuse me” excuse. This is like the child interrupter, but for people without a handy child.

These people pretend to be pleased to see me, ask me about something, and almost immediately say, “Oh, excuse me. I’ll be right back.” They then go off to talk to someone else, who, apparently, is far more interesting.

They want to make me shout, “How rude!” Perhaps I’ll try that.

5.     “Right, right, right!”

Perhaps the people who do this aren't aware that they’re doing it. Perhaps they think it’s helping the conversation along. Perhaps they really don’t know how annoying they’re being?

I had a supervisor who would do this in the middle of nearly everything I said. I don’t know what she thought it was adding to the conversation, but to me it simply meant, “I’m not listening. Shut up.” So I did. If she said, “Right, right, right,” I would assume she didn’t want to hear what I was saying, and I’d stop. She’d interrupted my train of thought, anyway.

Of course, sometimes she’d ask why I stopped, to which I’d reply that I thought she wanted me to.

I don’t just stop the conversation now, though. I walk away. (I'm retired. I can.)

6.     The phone as an excuse.

When I go out with someone, I generally don’t bring my phone. It wasn’t invited. If I’ll need it later, it goes in my pocket or bag on silent mode. I consider the person in front of me more important than someone at the other end of a text message or phone call. They can wait, leave a message or call back later. If I were waiting for a call about someone's death, I likely wouldn't go out at all.

So I find it rude in the extreme when I go out somewhere, especially for a meal with someone, and they are glued to their phone, either texting or answering phone calls. It has yet to be about their child being in an accident.

It’s rude. If you’re that much in demand, you certainly don’t have time for me. I’d have more fun staying home reading.

I have a rule at my house: no phones at the table. And it isn’t always teens that do that. I’ve had to tell adults (who shouldn’t have to be told this rule to begin with) to put away the phone or leave the table. If I can’t bring my book to a social gathering, others shouldn’t be allowed to bring mobile phones. 

7.     Name brand one-upsmanship.

I’m not impressed with name brands. I once said I wouldn’t wear Calvin Klein’s name on my butt until he wore mine on his.

My only exception is when I find something in particular that suits me. It isn’t the name that attracts me, it’s the functionality. (You may find Gloria Vanderbuilt's name on the inside --  never the outside --  of my jeans waistbands. They fit me well, and they're usually cheaper than other brands.)

An example is I like Pentax cameras. Not because of the name. And I have actually been put down for using a Pentax. I like the weight of it and the way it works. Besides, with cameras, it isn’t the brand, but the talent of the person using it that counts.

Not to brag, but I have gotten clear pictures at ½ second with my Pentax without a tripod. A friend who travelled with me once was bragging about her Cannon. But when she tried to get the same picture at the same setting, it turned out as a lovely blur of color.

Someone else once gave me a “Pfft” over my “inferior” Pentax.  She had a Nikon. We were both taking photos for a singer friend at a club. When she made the noise, I laughed and walked away. It turned out that little miss Nikon wasn’t a very good photographer, and was rather miffed at the end of the night when our mutual friend asked me to send her copies of the pictures I’d taken.

I don’t make a big deal out of what kind of camera I use. I only tell people the brand if they ask. And usually they only ask if they’re trying to seem superior. But then, I was offered a job as a professional photographer once on the basis of a series of pictures I’d taken with a Kodak 104 Instamatic. (One of those 1960s cameras with the cartridge and the flash cube.) So, take that, Nikon! 

8.     Self-impressed people. 

            The world is supposed to stop when they appear. If it doesn’t, drama ensues.

“Do you know who I am?” is a frequent demanded query of theirs.

Well, no. I don't suppose you happen to know who I am either, do you?

Actually, my attitude is, “I certainly wish I didn’t.” or “You’re a human being, no better and no worse than I am.”

Or, to quote Buggs Bunny, “What a maroon!”

There are other, less frequent annoyances, like people who think they’re better because of where they went to college, who they know or how much money they make. They’re simply boring people with no point, other than the one on top of their head, and I avoid them at all costs.

I’m sure there are plenty of human foibles that could be put on similar lists, but this is mine, and I’m keeping it.