Saturday, December 1, 2018

Of Holy Communion, Confession and Second Grade


Children dream big. It is only later that reality crushes those dreams out of existence.

When I was very small I knew what I wanted to be: I wanted to grow up to be Ricky Nelson. So what if I was a girl? Did it matter that I was denied the basic training for music, dance and acting as a child? You can, I was told, grow up to be anything you want to be.
           
Stages never scared me. How wonderful it is to stand on a stage and perform. It wasn’t frightening, like walking up to a child you didn’t know and asking if you could be friends, knowing rejection was the most likely outcome.

When you performed on a stage, people came to see you and paid money for the privilege. They weren’t waiting to boo you or walk away. Instead, they would applaud and smile and ask for your autograph.
           
I lived a good bit of my childhood in my head, turning the names of my brothers’ friends into characters I could become as I played alone in the back yard or swam in the pool.

The pretend world I created was so vivid to me that I usually forgot that any other children were not privy to it, and when I said something related to it, they didn’t know what I was talking about. Instead of asking, they’d look at me oddly and tell me I was weird.
           
I was used to that. My brothers called me worse things than weird, and even my own mother told me I was strange. Repeatedly.

If I didn’t know something, my brother would say I was stupid. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t learned it yet because he was four years older. The fact that I didn’t know everything he did meant I was stupid.
           
School was a different matter entirely. It wasn’t everything I was promised. We learned something new and then spent the next two weeks having it repeated eternally, so, I assumed, even the most brick-headed student would know it.

This of course caused me to miss the fact for years that I can’t memorize things by reading them; I memorize by hearing things. While I think I have somewhat of a photographic memory, often the photos don’t turn out.

Because of the slow and repetitious nature of the classroom, added to the fact that my bad handwriting caused me to have to write my homework over several times before my mother was satisfied with it, my hand spent more time in the air than folded in obedient stasis on my desk. 

When called on in class, I could give the answer. It wasn’t a matter of pride to me; hearing the same thing droned into your ears day after day, how could you not give the answer?

Yet for all of my shrugging off answering in class, I was hounded and what would now be called bullied for doing well in school.
           
“You think you’re a big shot,” was hurled in my direction more often than, “Hi, how are you?”
           
Why would I think I was a big shot? Because I could spell? Because I got 100 on a math test? Because I could tell which verb part to use in a sentence? Because I was almost never called on to read, since the teacher knew I could? Because I was sent to the back of the room for talking? 

My art projects were always failures, and I could never manage to write on the lines. Those were the important things to me, and in those matters I was a failure.

Big shot? School felt to me like hanging from a window sill, afraid that someone would slam the window down on my fingers.

I tripped up the stairs. I couldn’t cut on or color inside the lines. I didn’t know how to jump rope. I was a slow runner, and therefore, always “it” in a game of tag.

I essentially had no friends. Yes, I was allowed to hang around with someone for a week or two, but that was it. That wasn’t being a big shot to me; that was total failure.

At home, there were no girls in my neighborhood who were my age, and I was forbidden to play with boys. Most of the girls on my block and the next were a year or two older than I was. Until the teen years, that’s massive.

The rest were a year or two younger. That’s also massive, but younger was easier to get along with – until they decide they don’t want to play with you. Then you’re a big shot.

Then there was my big, empty yard to play in, with swings, a sliding board, a tree fort and a sand box. How could I possibly need other children?
           
When I was seven, there was a five-year-old girl who liked me. She was allowed to cross the street to come to my house to ask if I could play (when I was five, I wasn’t allowed to cross the street alone). 

My mother discouraged me from playing with her because she was so much younger than I was, but if she came to my door and I was home, it meant I had no one else to play with, so my mother didn’t want to be so cruel as to forbid me from going to her house. Her name was Sheila.
           
Sheila would play with me for about ten minutes, and then lose interest and go off somewhere else.

That didn’t bother me. She had a seven-year-old brother who was in my class at school. He and I got along very well, and he was always interested in playing some game or other with me when I came over – in fact, I think that’s why Sheila went off somewhere else.

The other children in school would tease that Michael was my boyfriend. He wasn’t. We were just pals. We played cowboys or soldiers or tree climbing or whatever other things I wasn’t allowed to play at home.

He never kissed me or tried to. In fact, that kind of thought never crossed either of our minds. He was the one person who didn’t mind that I could answer questions at school, who never, ever called me a big shot.
           
My parents were surprised when I was invited to Michael’s eighth birthday party. I was surprised that they let me go, since I wasn’t allowed to play with boys. And it still rates as one of the best birthday parties I ever attended.
           
I never told my parents that I spent my time playing with Michael and not Sheila. They wouldn’t have let me go to his house if I did.

I didn’t think of that as lying. I could never understand how not volunteering information was lying when you didn’t actually say anything. It might be a sin, but it wasn’t lying.
           
Sin was a big deal in second grade, although now I’m not sure whether or not a seven-year-old is capable of actual sin. I was far more afraid of my parents than God, if he existed – although I believed he did, just in case, since I’d never actually met him – and at the time I was a bit skeptical of whether or not people in history, like Caesar and George Washington were real.  I thought maybe they were like fairy-tales, and teachers made them up so they’d have something to teach.

I had already learned that a little lie that didn’t hurt anyone but kept you from being punished was preferable to having a grownup make a big deal out of something that wasn’t important, and hounding you about it for a year.

Like the time I went to a report card conference with my mother when – other than art, handwriting and orderliness – history and geography were my only two bad grades. I was in fifth grade by then.

The teacher asked me if I liked history and geography. That particular year, I did not. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings by expressing hatred for something she taught, and I didn’t want to have to hear about it every time I answered incorrectly, so I said, “I guess.”
           
Now, I knew lying was wrong, but I figured I could make up for something that small long before I had to apply for my ticket to heaven. God wasn’t going to give me extra homework or yell at me as my parents or teacher would, so I decided to tell the lie and do the Hail Mary to make up for it instead.

But back to second grade, I tried to be an accurate student.
           
I found my First Communion prayer book not too long ago, with its pre-Vatican II Latin responses and pictures of a much different-looking Mass than what people see today. I also found, tucked in the pages, a paper with a list written in my second-grade handwriting.

It was a list of sins I’d committed since the previous visit to Confession. I wanted to be accurate so I wouldn’t commit an additional sin of lying to the priest in Confession by giving an incorrect account of my failings.

I’m not sure whether or not I brought the list with me to Confession, but it’s  documentation of what I thought I was doing wrong at the time.
           
Children’s understanding of wrongdoing is amusing. I wonder if other children thought to impress the priest by confessing to a murder or theft they hadn’t committed (I never did).

But so many of the commandments, at least the way they used to be worded, were difficult to understand. I knew lying was wrong, but I could never find a commandment saying that. There was one about bears, which made no sense to me.

And my classmates didn’t understand the word “covet”. They usually mispronounced it as “cover”. What would be wrong with covering your neighbor’s things? What if it was raining? Should you just leave them out there to get wet?
           
God had some strange rules. His were even odder than the ones my parents had, like looking up and down before you crossed the street. Shouldn’t you look for cars? But then, God could turn into a wafer, so I wasn’t too surprised.
           
By second grade, I was pretty good at riding my bike. The training wheels were gone and I had even learned to ride around corners.

I still had minor accidents, like the time I decided I was going to let go of the handlebars because I wanted to learn to ride without holding on, as I had seen some of the older kids do. I wasn’t sure how that was accomplished, so I decided to let go and count. As soon as the bike got a bit wobbly, I’d grab the handlebars again. Once the bike was steady, I’d try again.
           
I could ride for a fast count of ten. My goal one day was to wait until I reached twenty. So, as I started down my street, I let go. I reached ten.

On the next try I was almost able to reach fifteen.  Almost was close. I let go again, determined to reach twenty. The road slanted down slightly as I counted. I could feel the wobblies return, but determination won out, and I didn’t grab the bars.

As the bike started to fall over, I was only to eighteen, but I grabbed the handlebars once again, just as Jimmy, a seventh-grade boy who lived across the street was walking past. I was too late, and the bike went completely over, with me on the street below it. I couldn’t seem to get myself up, and Jimmy didn’t give me a second glance.

Finally, I called out to him, and he grudgingly, picked up my bicycle so I could stand up. As soon as I was off the road and able to take the bike, he let it go, leaving me to my cuts and scrapes, and went on his way.
           
School might be easy, but being a second grader was definitely difficult.

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